Shadow of Myself

I am a shadow of my former being
a shell of a person I no longer know
all I see is this carriage of emptiness drawn by steeds of misery
the mind that creature gnaws at my nails until they bleed
the degradation of my own self contemplation stepping into the shadows night by night
do I sleep on a cot of webs waking in a cocoon of no escape?
A knife a knife please to cut open this chalice of denial
which pain do I burn to the ground which ones do I dose with water?
soft scents of perfume to cover the sweat and grime of past and present